Friendship… Here’s a relationship we don’t want to live without.
Based on the fact that we were not made to be alone, friendships become one of the most important bonds after our family. And although it brings with it a magical feeling of belonging, comfort, and trust, friendship can fade away if not properly taken care of. After all, friendships are like flowers, if they are neglected, they wither, but if they are nurtured with affection and care they blossom.
In this article I want to help you reconnect with your friends in five steps, but first let me just comment on one thing? When I was tasked with writing this article I found it ironic! Me? The girl who never stays in the same place for a long time? But after thinking it through I came to the conclusion that, you know what, if there’s anyone who can talk about maintaining friendships, it’s me!
Of course, I still have a lot to improve, but I’m sure that the friendships that I carry with me today, some outside of my own country even, are true friendships. So without further ado, let’s go to the tips on maintaining friendships.
1. Know the value of that friendship.
Sit in a corner where you won’t be disturbed and remember how you met, the moments you’ve shared, and how that person makes you feel when they’re around. If she makes you feel good, if she gives you good advice, or if she makes you laugh, she is someone who is worth keeping near you.
Now, if in general, she puts you down more than she lifts you up, be careful, she may not be as worthy of your time as you like to imagine.
Take advantage of the fact that you remembered all of this and write down why you want this person close on your cell phone or on paper if you, like me, prefer the “vintage” route.
Evaluation is part of surrounding yourself with healthy relationships.
2. Say hello and share something about your day.
Don’t be content to just remember your friendship. Turn your thoughts into attitudes.
When I suggest sharing something, know that there is no restriction. It can be something small or big, an inside joke, thank them for a time when they helped you or share one of those memories you came across in step 1!
Anyway, the important thing is to share with her. Friendships are made up of exchanges, and if you start by giving, she will feel more comfortable giving back and your friendship will flow again.
Communication between you doesn’t have to be daily but check in with your friends, initiate conversations without always expecting them to do so first.
3. Get to know each other better.
Imagine that this person is a mine full of precious stones, and the deeper you dig the more precious the stones. Seek to know everything from superficial things like her favorite color and food, her preference for books, movies or music to deeper things like her opinion on racism, feminism, and historical events, principles that she will not give up, her relationship to her parents, with whom she has difficulty being in the same room and the way she thinks.
Be humble enough to ask questions and learn from your friends. Every one of us has something to share and teach. Be brave enough to share your heart.
4. Get together in the real world
Plan to go for a walk in the park, do some shopping, visit a new corner of the city, try a fun recipe you saw on the internet or play the guitar on the living room floor. Choose an activity you both like or at least have the potential to like. Oh and preferably, no wi-fi. Take advantage of this moment to connect with the person in front of you.
The important thing is to dedicate time to develop your relationship. If it’s impossible to see each other in person, you can still try cooking a new recipe at the same time/play or sing together/watch a movie together etc. through FaceTime or Skype.
5. Be consistent.
Now we’ve gotten to the step that asks the most of you, and I left it for last on purpose. Here’s the thing: do you know why friendships dissolve or just don’t progress? Because consistency is mandatory.
Consistency is the ability to repeat attitudes in the long-term.
In translation: being consistent in your friendships means putting tips two through four into practice on a regular basis. It means making your friendship a priority, making a point of saying hi, talking about your day, sharing secrets, going out together, and getting to know each other more and more.
*Oh! And as an extra tip: be willing to experience change.
People change, sometimes their opinions, sometimes their behavior. And that’s okay because you change too. Really! Try to remember what you were like two years ago, and you will quickly agree with me.
Friendships are gems that make life much lighter and more enjoyable. Work on yours to have the quality of life that Jesus wishes for each one of us.
Speaking of friends, tell me how did you and your best friend meet? I found mine when I went to Missionary School, and we connected over pizza. Everyone had finished eating, but we kept going, happy as could be.