It’s been a difficult time in my life lately. So today, at 6:30 am, my mother asked me to write down a list of the blessings I have received over the past ten years. I started the list, and yes, there were many blessings, most of them material goods. But one, and perhaps the simplest gift of all, makes cry me every time I remember it. It was the day that God sent me flowers.
I was 20 years old, born and raised in the church, sang and participated at church, had many friends, but did not “know” God; I had never had a personal experience with Him. I started dating a young man who wasn’t of the same faith, but I felt good with him. Dating him was a “wonderful experience”! Until one day, without explanation, everything ended abruptly. I suffered immensely! I felt used, lost the joy of living, isolated myself, and started having suicidal thoughts. Despite feeling how loved I was by my family, and despite them trying their best to make me happy, every day I thought about how to kill myself.
One day, there was an event in my town on account of it being “International Women’s Day”. After much insistence from my family, I went. My body was there, but my mind was not. Eventually, I decided to go home and told my grandmother. She, who doesn’t usually linger at parties like these, would normally come home with me, but that day she decided to stay and asked me to stay too, but I just wanted to go home and find a way to end my life.
My grandmother, in addition to staying, asked me to leave the number I had received to participate in a prize draw. I delivered it without the slightest expectation of winning anything, after all I’m not one to win prizes, or rather, I wasn’t.
I went home, into my room, and cried for a long time. In between sobs, I planned how I was going to put an end to that anguish. By that point, my family had arrived, and I looked at my parents and my sister who were sleeping and thought: “I know they will suffer, but I can’t take this pain anymore!”
At that moment of agony, I was determined to take my life, when someone knocked on the door. I tried to stay quiet and pretend I was sleeping, but the person insisted and started whispering my name, and I realized they wouldn’t go away until I opened it. I thought: I’ll dry the tears, answer it, and then come back and do what I have planned to do.
When I opened the door, it was my grandmother, carrying a vase of flowers and the most beautiful package I’ve ever seen in my life! She was euphoric, smiling and saying, “Look, they’re yours! As soon as you left, your number was drawn. I took the flowers and brought them to you. Aren’t they beautiful?”
They really were wonderful! They were pink kalonchoe in gorgeous pink and lilac iridescent wrapping paper, and a huge lilac bow. I’ve received flowers since that day, but for sure, those were the most beautiful and meaningful I’ve ever received. No one heard, but as soon as I received those flowers, a voice spoke to my heart:
“I—GOD—HAVE SENT YOU FLOWERS. I CARE ABOUT YOU, DON’T DO IT!”
I didn’t. At that moment, my heart was touched, and my life changed, forever. From that day on, I was never the same person. I pursued the best experience of my life, which was meeting God, the One who loves me and cares about me. Even when I was far from Him, He never abandoned me and still sent me flowers.