Many women find themselves pulled by uncertainty on the one hand and a strong desire to embrace motherhood on the other. I was one of them. It felt like after my early twenties, my body was bubbling with hormones insisting: “It’s time for motherhood!” It was something I prayed over, but still didn’t feel sure about. Then, at 28 years old and only a day late, I was sure I was pregnant. Suddenly, I was a mother.
Here is what I have learned so far.
1 – Don’t rush motherhood, but also don’t put it off without reason.
The Bible tells us that children are a happy inheritance from God; still, there are valid reasons for delaying parenthood. However, it’s possible to get caught up in society’s demands that you must first achieve great success, travel the world, accomplish all your goals, and then IF it fits at the bottom of your list of interesting and important things to do, only then have children.
Always evaluate why you made the decision to become a mother or to postpone motherhood. Are your reasons real, or are they just the result of what other people have dictated for your life? Time can be a bitter enemy of motherhood. Inform yourself, analyze and be aware of the consequences of your decision, whatever it may be.
2 – Fear will always exist.
I was scared at first, and my fear is still present. Anything you’ve never done before and that doesn’t come with exact instructions will certainly come with a healthy dose of fear. I have come to understand that fear will always be present in my life, especially as I care for another little being. But fear can paralyze or motivate. I can choose to allow fear to teach me how to trust God. Only in Him can we find the peace and rest that our hearts crave. Only He can give us the strength to face any situation, despite our fear.
3 – Take care of your changing body.
Your body will undergo radical changes. You will see the numbers on the scale jump up, acne can come on strong, your clothes will be too small, and suddenly you’ll look in the mirror and wonder if you actually like what you see. Take care of your changing body. Exercise. Don’t fall for the “you need to eat for two” tale. Instead, adopt a healthy diet, avoid sugar and refined foods for the sake of your health and your baby’s. Understand that this won’t be forever. Speak, look, and treat yourself with love. Shower, get dressed up, put on clothes that make you feel good and beautiful. Beauty can often be a cure for the heart.
You are making room for life! Embrace the changes. Celebrate them.
4 – Learn to just smile and wave.
There will always be those who think you became a mother too soon, and those who are sure you are waiting too long. All around you will be “professionals” who will spare no hints about what you should or shouldn’t do. Listen, filter what’s good from what’s not, and sometimes, just smile and wave. Others are just “others”. Avoid unnecessary stress caring about what they think or say. It’s not worth it.
5 – Pray three times more—for yourself, for your spouse, for your child.
Incessantly ask God for wisdom that you and your spouse may educate your child in the ways of the Lord. Ask God to give you the patience you need each day and never accept hate, grudges, rudeness, and mood swings as part of pregnancy. Motherhood will mold our character. And that starts during pregnancy. Learn to pray, “Oh God, help me to cultivate the fruits of the spirit at all times!”
May God give you the strength to be an example of a woman and a mother to your children.